This morning I woke up to the sound of my parents talking over
their normal Friday morning coffee. As usual I catch myself listening to them
share information about one another's life, rather than falling back asleep as
I wish to do every morning (even during school). In some alternative universe I
imagine myself as some sort of sleep goddess...Nothing to abnormal. I’m sure
other peoples parents have some sort of alternative to my parent's morning
coffee consultations, but to explain why parent do this so frequent, my dad is
always working and my mom is (mostly) a stay at home mom. A majority of the
time my dad is either out of the house working or sleeping because of the late
hours he works on his second job, Fridays are the only regular days he
has off from work. Another secret reason they talk this early might have
something to do with my still sleeping little sisters, they might know I listen
in they might not I honestly don't care.
Anyway...Like
always I only start paying attention when our family matters is the main object
of the conversation.
My name slipped
into the conversation. Lately my mom has been talking about my fall
extra-curricular, in other words what I'm going to do with the "black
hole" of time I have between my never done homework (which by the way I
signed up for 2-3 Honors classes and 1 AP class) and girl scouts (We've stopped
going to the regular meetings so it's only time before I quit).
I honestly don't
know what I want to do either; it's to the point where my parents are making
the choice without me. I've expressed my interest in computer related careers
before; my dictating mother just doesn't think any of my ideas are
"heavenly spotlight" great, nothing more than another crumbled piece
of paper next to the hypothetic trash bin. I heard Mother mentioning unhealthy
and computers in the same sentence, I almost cried.
My mom’s opinion
of extra-curricular is time filler with benefits. Of course computers can fill
that spot, but she just doesn't like it as much as I do, mom Im sorry my future
is enviably going to be computer related, I guarantee that in my
generation somebody is going to invent flying cars. (Easier said than done, right
generation Ys?)
I know when she
says unhealthy she means exercise, normally I would play rec. soccer
(recreational). I used to believe someday I'd be Mia Hamm good, and that by sophomore
year I would have Varsity in the bag. What killed my light? Our local leagues'
"alpha" soccer tryouts. Of course it's not called that, but to make
it more understandable to pretty much everyone else that doesn't play in my
home town's rec. soccer league. The tryouts where tough, and I didn't make it.
I over estimated my super powers and un-heroically I sat in the corner of the
room and cried.
On that note,
soccer was just something I did in my "free time". To be a soccer
super star you need the correct knowledge of soccer, something that only a few
people know. Hopping into the league like I tried almost never works, you have
to join when you’re younger, and hardly anyone thinks about being a proper Mia
Hamm at the correct age. It's really stupid; everyone is being belittled by the
program. I promised myself to try again next year (but only if I was still
interested in soccer by then).
The other day one
of my mom’s friends suggested that instead I should work for something
different all together, getting a job. Anyone my age wouldn't pass this up,
working for money. MONEY! I could do so much if i just had a little more money
in my life...But one does not simply walk into a store and ask for a job. Or a
fast food restaurant. Or anywhere. That’s my problem. I don't know where I
would work. A start decision would be to work somewhere that could open a door
for my future...and unhelpfully I still don't know where I want to work in the
future, I don't have the bittiest of a clue. Another smart decision would be to
work where you could get any sort of discount, a useful discount at that.
Can we just assume
I don't have my life together enough to even come close to this? After all, I
started this blog as personalized way to understand how to organize my
thoughts. Not also to mention I made this to work on my horrible grammar. I’m
still stuck. Please oh please mom! DON'T sign me up for golf lessons!
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